Within us
by MilaDance
Summary: Bay/Emmett one shot starting immediately after 1x09 ends. Just a little experiment in a way.


Within us

What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.  
>~ by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~<p>

Bay walks slowly to her room, trance-like, going through the motions, she could probably do this walk with her eyes closed, which is good because she isn't paying attention to anything. Her whole body feels like your lips feel when you go to the dentist, numb and kind of swollen, non operational and distorted. People around you don't see it, you look fine but you know nothing is normal, you can't drink because the water will spill out of your mouth and make a mess; Bay couldn't say anything to Daphne because she was afraid words would spill out of her and… well, make a mess. She lets herself fall onto her bed and her brain goes into overdrive, should she talk to him, tell him what Daphne said, should she go back to her and tell her what she was planning to say anyhow, should she just end it and save herself from being dumped? Because there really is no doubt in her mind that as soon as this comes out, she will be alone. Daphne is lovable, Bay's own parents adore her, her mom didn't want to risk losing her to get Bay instead, Liam saw her and was immediately smitten… and Emmett has a freaking wall full of her pictures. No doubt in her mind. She grabs her phone and writes quickly: "I don't think things will work out after all. Sorry. It is probably easier this way." Then presses send. And starts sobbing.

He stares at the phone and doesn't understand. Maybe she sent it to the wrong person, because it can't be meant for him. He was with her less than an hour ago and everything was fine. More than fine. He had performed the ultimate romantic gesture (and his arms were still sore from it, too, no wonder she has quite the upper arm strength if she does this often) and really deserved the make out session that had followed. And now he is sitting in front of his computer checking the school website for the secretary's and the speech therapist's email, to see if he can still get some lessons even though the term is halfway over. So this text message can't possibly be meant for him. Yet he wonders.

She drives to school in her slightly dented new baby blue car in her new baby blue mood, sunglasses on, even though there is no sun today, to cover her swollen eyelids and purple shadows under her eyes. She left late to avoid Toby and Daphne and only when she saw their cars leaving, she ran down the stairs, grabbed a muffin and jumped into her car. Her phone beeps and she checks it, even though she knows driving and texting is a no-no. "Pick you up from school? 4 o clock?" it reads. How did he not get the message yesterday? Maybe she didn't send it, she thinks and checks her sent folder. Nope, there it is. What is wrong with this guy? She thinks for a moment, she could pretend nothing happened, be happy… but then she remembers what it feels like, being left behind. The way an iron fist seems to grab your heart and your lungs and your stomach and just squeeze away. And the longer she keeps pretending, the bigger the fist will be and the longer it will squeeze her. So when she gets to the last traffic light before Buckner she texts back "No, it is over. Told you yesterday. Stop texting!" and the iron fist lets her know that even though she is ending it now, it is already there, placed and ready to squeeze with all its might.

He stands in front of the school, looks at his phone and shakes his head in disbelief, what did he do? Why is she mad at him?, when a hand touches his shoulder. Daphne. "What's wrong?" she asks. He doesn't know if Bay spoke to her last night, doesn't know what she knows and even if she does, he doesn't really want to share this with her. "Nothing" he answers gruffly, "nothing at all." Then on a whim and with her staring confusedly at him, he opens his locker again, throws the book he had taken out 2 minutes ago back inside, grabs his helmet and walks back to his bike. He is going to find out what the matter is and he will show her that you can't get rid of him with a text message or two. Is Ty maybe back? Could he be? Or that Liam guy, could he have made another pass at her? He drives faster than usual, and that is saying quite something, but when he gets to Buckner the bell must have rung them in, because the school grounds look deserted. But he needs to know and so he walks into the building and starts looking around.

"I am looking for Bay Kennish… there is an emergency" the minuscule secretary says. Bay sits up straight, then gets up. "That's me". She wonders what could have happened. Did she not have enough on her plate today, did there have to be some kind of disaster? It must have been an accident. Her mother? Her dad? She thinks she saw Toby's car, so he should really be fine, maybe Daphne or Regina? Nobody ever gets called out of class unless it is something horrible, like that girl whose mom died of breast cancer a year ago. Once they are outside her classroom she asks, her words barely audible over the fear in her voice "What happened?" The secretary smiles a sad smile and says "I didn't understand the details, I don't… your friend is waiting for you outside, he will take you, I think." Now even more confused Bay rushes to the main entrance. What friend? Wouldn't the hospital contact the school directly? Then she sees Emmett and nearly turns back into the building. He is faster though, grabs her hand and pulls her along to the parking area. Then turns to her and angrily signs something she doesn't understand.

It was a bit of a struggle to get her out of there, although the secretary reacted as expected when he kept signing faster and faster, then he wrote on a piece of paper "Bay Kennish, emergency!" she was about to run off, but he did not want Bay to see him in her office and to get her to understand that he would take Bay to the emergency was a struggle. But now she is here, in the parking lot, with him, looking in confusion at him. "Explain it to me! What did you mean it is over?" He realizes she doesn't understand half the signs and he tries to slow down. His mother is right, this is frustrating… but until yesterday evening it was also worth it. So he tries again. "Why? Why the messages? I don't understand!" He can see that she got it this time and he sees her ball her fists and bite her lip. Then she looks up, those huge brown eyes full of tears, unfurls her hands and signs determinedly "Because you will never love me like you will love Daphne". He is confused. When did he even mention Daphne, except for the apology for not telling her, lately? How did she get the impression… it makes no sense! She has turned away and he pulls on her arm to turn her back to him. He signs "Daphne is my friend… you are my girlfriend. It is different!"

She had looked up the word for girlfriend, secretly hoping to see him do it, now it just makes her feel worse. How long until he will call Daphne his girlfriend? She shakes her head, "Daphne is more than a friend. And… you should talk to her!" He looks confused and surely not at her signs, because they were impeccable, if she says so herself. Why is he dragging this out? He knows he likes Daphne, he has pined for her for years probably, why is he making this so difficult for everybody? His eyes are so brilliantly blue they hurt her eyes and kind of pierce her soul as they search in her face for an explanation. "What has Daphne done?" he asks and she shakes her head and signs "nothing". Nothing but being the perfect daughter, the perfect friend, the perfect freaking girl on earth. "You are not going… no, leaving… until I tell you what happened" she says out loud as he signs, trying to make sense of his words. She shakes her head again; she doesn't want him to see her cry or look desperate, she has to take the high road. But to be honest, no road seems particularly high right now. He looks at her begging, then leans forward to kiss her and she backs off. "That is not going to work today!"

Why is she so damn upset? Clearly something happened when she went to talk to Daphne? Did Daphne tell her to break up with him? He may have shown his disgust for Daphne's flirts but he never forbid her to go out with someone. And Bay is not one to do what others tell her to do, least of all Daphne. She just shied away from his kiss, his best weapon of choice, so he just looks at her and signs sadly "Please tell me what Daphne said". Finally she looks at her hands and then signs "Daphne likes you" and she seems to deflate as she signs it, her head hanging low, looking at the floor. Daphne likes him? Like "like" likes him? No, she doesn't. She never saw him that way, he is like… a brother to her. He puts a finger under her chin, lifts her head to have her look at him and shakes his head. She nods and says "She told me yesterday…"

She knows he might not get it all but she needs to say it, so she starts "She told me yesterday… and don't say that doesn't change everything, because it does, because you adore her and you have a freaking shrine for her in your room and you have just been waiting for this, your dream come true. She is your past, you share history, and history always wins. It always wins!" She watches him, his brows furrowed, trying to decipher what she just said, trying to understand as much as he can. And this is just proof. He would never not understand Daphne. So she lifts her hands and signs "go and be with her" Then turns around and starts running, she runs all the way across the parking lot to her car, sits down in the front seat and just cries, hoping he'll have left, hoping he isn't watching this sad, sad spectacle. Why does nothing ever work out for her? It is not fair! She looks at her bruised hands, full of small crusty cuts and cries harder.

He watches her run away, jump into her car and sit there bent over, clearly crying, but he doesn't know what to do, he doesn't even know what he feels. Daphne likes him? He didn't catch all she said but he did get "dream come true" and "History always wins". He walks back to his bike and drives around, trying to clear his head. If Daphne really likes him, that makes everything… difficult. Of course it would be easier with Daphne, she understands him, she has been his best friend forever, she is beautiful and smart and funny. She gets him. And his mom would be all happy. Not that he would take his mom's wishes into consideration, but she was partly right when she spoke the other day. Things with Bay are not easy. But love and easy don't always match, right? Then again love and difficult don't either. At lunchtime he gets to Carlton, finds Daphne and sits in front of her. "Where did you go this morning? You are crazy, skipping school like that! Your mom will be so mad" she says, a sweet smile playing around her mouth. "Did you talk to Bay yesterday?" he blurts out. "What? Yes… did she say anything to you?" Daphne suddenly looks insecure, he is sure she did not exactly count on Bay tattling to him. "You like me?" he asks and looks deep into her eyes. Daphne looks down, blushing furiously. "Why, did she tell you that?" she asks, "It was not her business! And of course I like you… you are my friend." "But you don't want to… go out with me? Kiss me? Like like that?" Daphne is now so red he considers finding her an icepack to prevent her face from bursting into flames. "Maybe… I don't know. Yes, I think so, do you like me like that?" He thinks for a moment, he could just lean forward, grab her hand, kiss her. It would be like he used to dream. But he doesn't lean forward. He doesn't kiss her. He lifts his hands and explains to her. He explains how he loves her dearly and used to think he was in love with her, but how now there is someone else and he is slowly falling in love with that girl and he realized that the way he feels about Daphne has nothing to do with the way he feels about Bay. He explains that they didn't want to keep it a secret, but both were afraid of her getting hurt and they needed some time to figure things out. And he explains how she broke up with him after speaking to her yesterday evening and how he can't let that happen. He doesn't explain how just a minute ago when he pondered leaning in for a kiss he couldn't stop thinking about someone with dark curls and big brown eyes. He doesn't explain how sometimes when he gets sad about his dad leaving and not really knowing of him since the split, just thinking of Bay makes him feel better. And he doesn't explain how his "Daphne shrine", as Bay calls it, now contains pictures of two girls. His two girls.

Daphne doesn't say anything the entire time, just watches him sign and even though it hurts, because being rejected always hurts, she understands. And even though she is angry that they kept it a secret, she doesn't hate either of them. Or at least not much. And she concedes that maybe… just maybe, she didn't really want to be with Emmett, maybe she just wanted to make sure he would always be there for her. And it looks like he will.

She is sitting on her bed with photos and a pair of scissors, not quite able to cut them into pieces. Yet. Someone knocks and Daphne comes in without waiting for a reply. Just who she wanted to see. Did she come to brag? To yell at her for telling Emmett? She doesn't look mad, so brag it is. Bay crosses her arms to brace herself and to keep herself together. The numb feeling making it all feel less than real and she is so sad and mad and tired all at the same time. "Don't cut those." Daphne says. "You will regret it." Bay looks confused. "Emmett told me. Everything. He said he is falling in love with you." Daphne chokes a little on that phrase, that she has decided it is ok with her, doesn't mean she can say it out loud quite yet. "He is waiting outside." Bay looks at her, surprise and relief flooding her, the numb feeling receding, the fist opening up like a flower, letting her take a deep breath. He is what now? The L word… sort of? Falling for her? And is she… falling for him?

She looks at Daphne and signs "are you OK?" Daphne nods. "Yeah… I am, I will be!" and points to the door. Bay doesn't wait to be told again, she gets up, runs down the stairs and opens the door, runs into the patio barefoot and sees him standing there, the James Dean smirk in place. "Don't do that again!" he signs as she approaches him, then leans down and puts his lips to hers. Yeah, she thinks, definitely falling.


End file.
